Josée in Ottawa

It’s Not Carbon Monoxide Poisoning You Numskull, It’s a Hangover

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Last weekend we were gloriously child-free for a few hours, and we stopped by a friend’s open house. They had Boone’s Sangria, my all-time favourite drink after Bailey’s Irish Cream. (Apparently I have “cheap”, “clumsy”, “sorority-house” taste. What can I say.) I don’t know what possessed me, but I had one two three glasses of sangria in the span of about an hour. No wonder I thought that Argo, the movie we went to see afterwards, was the Best. Movie. Ever.

Sangria Pour by Dinner Series (Flickr Creative Commons)

Sangria Pour by Dinner Series (Flickr Creative Commons)

I don’t like beer, and since everything else was really expensive at the bars I frequented while in university, I never drank much and am a total lightweight.

I felt fine when I went to bed later that night, but around 2 am I woke up and felt… odd. My first thought was that I had e coli poisoning from the hamberger I’d eaten for supper. Hubby also had a hamberger, but his stomach is apparently made of steel and nothing phases it, so the fact that he was happily snoring away wasn’t conclusive one way or the other. I was lying awake and afraid to move, knowing that as long as I was perfectly still I probably wouldn’t be sick, but feeling like moving my head even a tiny bit was a very bad idea.

I’ve had food poisoning before, and it’s been my experience that if you have food poisoning,  you will be sick (repeatedly) no matter how still you are. So I started thinking that it was something else. I stayed perfectly still for another half hour and didn’t throw up. Food poisoning was therefore officially, conclusively ruled out. Then it came to me: carbon monoxide poisoning! Never mind that we have a CO/smoke detector right outside our bedroom door, and that it was just installed a couple of months ago so was probably working just fine. My mind latched onto that idea, and suddenly I had to check the children. Which meant moving. Which might lead to bad consequences, given how I felt. But the children! Why isn’t the CO detector going off? Is Hubby still breathing? Yup. Still breathing. I don’t feel tired. Wouldn’t I feel tired if it was CO poisoning? I have no idea. Must check the children.

So I got out of bed and made sure the kids were still breathing. Yup, both were fine. I checked that the green light on the CO/smoke detector was on. Yup. Back to bed. I spent another hour lying there feeling odd and worrying about CO poisoning.

Just as I was finally drifting off to sleep, it hit me. I’m hungover! Or possibly still drunk. I am a lightweight. That’s it! It’s not CO poisoning! I’m just drunk! I can go to sleep and stop worrying about the kids. Yay!

I have never, ever thrown up because I’ve had too much to drink. And despite those three large glasses of Boone’s Sangria, my streak continues.

One thought on “It’s Not Carbon Monoxide Poisoning You Numskull, It’s a Hangover

  1. Hilarious! I’ll keep this in mind next time I run into some sangria :).

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